I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize