Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
