he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
