We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
