East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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