I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
