i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
