I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
