I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
