i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
