I wish I only lived at night.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
