Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
