real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
