There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
