dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
