I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
