If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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