I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
