I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I pour the whiskey from now on
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
