How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
