Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
