Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
