i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
