So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize