im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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