It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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