I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
This is the high leading the old right now
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
