my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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