How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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