She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
