i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
