She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the day after is always just damage control
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
