Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Randomize
