watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
