Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
