Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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