Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
