All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize