honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
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The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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