Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
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I just found a bag of teeth...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize