it wasn't lemon gatorade
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
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I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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