plz talk dirty to me
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize