So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
