dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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