I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i now understand why vodka
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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