I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
