I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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