oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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