fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
