And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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