im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
