btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
