is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize