one two three fourrrrnication!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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