That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
