Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
