we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
