he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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