I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
