We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
